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Dozens of snap investigations conducted in mere minutes.

Taking a whole episode to solve who killed the colonel in the vicarage looks like the height of analogue apathy by comparison.

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Modern dating is like being stuck in an endless episode of Miss Marple — and about as erotic.

Each swipe of Tinder throws up a new riddle to solve: will this person look anything like their photos?

Does the forced smile belie immigration views that would make Enoch Powell blush?

And, ultimately, are they worth giving up two hours of prime box-set time to actually meet up with?

A world where black-and-white or headshot-only photos are highly suspect, a disproportionate ratio of beach pictures scream narcissist, and more than one baby or puppy co-opted to project cuteness is plain unforgivable (this ain’t Athena).

In the world of CSI dating, moving images should be a big DNA breakthrough.A chance to hear what people sound like and see if there’s any kinetic attraction in the way they move.Oh, and maybe even personality too — a technological advance I can welcome with open arms after a concerted week of giving Tinder a go went awry.For all the forensic rudimentaries, I still inadvertently ended meeting up with an “off-duty” high-class escort, a woman whose photos I resembled more than she did, and someone who’d have come across as more liberal if she’d worn a pointy white robe and carried a burning cross.So this week I took the plunge on Tickr, where you upload 30-second video clips of yourself.“I don’t usually sound like Ed Miliband but I’m coming to the end of man flu,” probably wasn’t my most alluring opening line.

811 Comments

  1. Dozens of snap investigations conducted in mere minutes.

  2. Taking a whole episode to solve who killed the colonel in the vicarage looks like the height of analogue apathy by comparison.

  3. But a new wave of video-based dating apps, such as Tikr and Flikdate, is set to move the forensic analysis onto a new level.

  4. No longer having to microscopically scrutinise profiles for clues.

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